I’ll be brief.
We want to understand. We want equality. So you need to stop being such a raging fucking asshole whenever we try and talk about the subject. We’re going to get it wrong at first and you need to understand this because your ridiculously aggressive knee-jerk reactions to every little mistake we make is making us too scared to even bring it up.
Calm the fuck down. We’re trying.
- a man
I get this guy’s sentiment and at the same time I don’t see this as “men trying to understand feminism”. I read this with furrowed eyebrows, and this is why:
1. “So you need to stop being such a raging fucking asshole whenever we try and talk about the subject.”
If someone (man or woman) tried to sit with me and actually, truly tried to understand where I’m coming from when I say I’m a feminist, I would be more than happy to explain my beliefs. Elated, and I would convey my thoughts and listen to their questions with the utmost respect because I can see they’re trying to be more feminist friendly. The only reason I would be “raging” is if someone was explicitly being sexist. Then yea, I’ll call you out on your misogynistic bullshit. Also, generalizations bug me.
2. “We’re going to get it wrong at first…”
What does that mean? Get feminism wrong? Respect women the wrong way? The only way you’re doing it wrong is if you’re being sexist. This isn’t learning to ride a bike. If you’re old enough to know right from wrong, you know the right way to treat a person and you know what not to do/say. And if you’re really trying to understand, you wouldn’t “get it wrong” in the first place, because you care enough to be cognizant of your actions and behaviors. If you’re a little misunderstood, then you’re probably not being explicitly sexist and maybe someone will challenge your statement and give you a little lesson. If you’re “trying,” I guess you’d be open to this.
3. “Calm the fuck down.”
And in four words, you manage to do the opposite of what your sentiment behind this entire post was. You just undermined us. Feminism doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Generations of oppression, and still we don’t see an equality in society. So yea, we’re allowed to be a little pissed about it. Doesn’t mean we run around the street with guns shooting men, at all. But when someone is being belligerently sexist, I’m gonna say something about it. If you’re subtly and unknowingly sexist, I’ll be more patient about it. But telling feminists to “calm the fuck down” so you can “try” to understand them just means you want feminists not to call you out on your misogynistic bullshit and let you say whatever you want. Don’t tell me what to do, I’ll do whatever I want.